Never Let Go: Chapter One (Free Preview)

Never Let Go ecover3Dai is forced to leave high school after his grandfather falls ill. Enlisting the help of Kaito Kane, Dai travels to his family estate to face the past which has haunted him for years.

Dai returns to Japan determined to put his life together and finds himself in the arms a former lover. However, his lover’s desperation to build a family with Dai may have serious consequences which could destroy his friendships forever.

Release date July 4, 2015

Chapter One

Dark, rainy, dreary; the grey clouds weaved and fused together melding into a single mass. The darkness weighed on the body and mind yet he enjoyed the languorous sensuality that threatened to overwhelm him. He wanted to sleep to dream to gaze upon the face of the man hovering above him and lick his sweat through the intangible realm of his mind. Just as he surrendered his senses the scratching of the chalk against the board pulled him back into the realm of reality; sitting in a classroom squirming as the uncomfortable sound assaulted his ears.

It was the final year of High School for Dai and Aya and like all students who reached the final months they struggled to determine how to spend the rest of their lives. Each day a time clock ticked the end of pure adolescents into independence and freedom. The rapid ting of the last bell caused an environment of unrest. His long fingers gripped the yellow pencil, attempting to scratch something onto the white piece of paper only to bring the eraser to his sharp lips, time simply wasn’t on his side. For a brief moment Aya thought of everything she and her friends had done together, the fights, the hook ups, and the trouble they’ve found themselves knee deep in from time to time. She looked back on those moments with a mixture of nostalgia and relief: Miki and his gang, Shi’s death, her short lived affair with Tsume, to Dai’s changed behavior. She survived the chaos; and Dai, he had recovered from losing Shi with amazing…albeit dysfunctional grace. He and Rei remained in contact with each other for a while since he departed for Hawaii with the rest of the band but as time wore on the emails arrived later and later, soon neither party bothered. A fitting end despite Dai’s disappointment, he mourned the loss of their friendship, except Tsume’s, whom he personally disliked, he missed them but life moves on. Dai walked the halls with his head held high yet never made too much of a fuss about anything; maintaining a low profile meant losing the reputation as the most talked about ‘slut’ of the school. His hair grew out to his shoulders and the black dye on his front bangs wore off displaying once again his characteristic frontal white streaks.

Slender as always and delicate yet strong. His long fingers, soft hands, and smooth creamy skin offset by his thick dark lashes and black hair aroused her yet she carried with that a lingering resentment of the cruel mocking joke that  Dai matured into just what she liked in a guy.

“What will you do once you graduate?” Sato, the annoying boy from class C approached after turning in his test. Aya tore her eyes from Dai, she couldn’t get away from Sato fast enough. The nerdy boy with his neatly combed brown hair grinned at her ample bosom. Her brown hair was styled into a bob which rounded her face emphasizing her soft round cheeks.

“Stop staring.” Aya warned while getting up and pushing past him to turn in her own paper.

“So are you looking at…him again?” Sato sneered.

His attitude caused Aya to roll her eyes. “And who is him you are referring to?”

“Dai. I didn’t know that was your type.” He followed her too close for comfort. “Since your eyes have been locked on him for a while now.”

Aya laughed a little embarrassed, she didn’t like the guy but she didn’t want everyone in the class watching her stare at her gay best friend. “Have I been that obvious?”

“Nah, I could hardly tell.” Sato teased not hiding the hint of sarcasm. “Besides, isn’t he a fag? You shouldn’t hang out with him. People might start to talk about you.”

Aya rounded on the boy ready to tell him just how much of a scumbag he was when a crowd of students pushed past her. .

“So you wanna hang out after school?” Sato navigated through the wall of bodies.

Aya snorted. “Hell no! I don’t make nice with people who bad mouth my friends.”

Dai stood up to turn in his paper to the teacher. The last student to do so. After he wiped the small bead of sweat from his brow he exited the class and met Aya in the hall.

“That test was difficult.”

“Yeah, I don’t even know if I got half the questions’ right.” Sato agreed leaving both parties behind.

“I had no problems.” Aya pumped her chest outward.

“Of course.” Dai rolled his eyes but with no malice behind it.

“What are you planning on doing after school is over?” Aya asked.

Graduation was only a few months away and everyone had a plan…almost everyone. “I don’t know.” he stammered.”But I’ve been running the shop quite often since my Grandfather became sick.”

“Is he gonna be okay?” She asked worried.

“Yeah, it’s just the flu.”

“Flu? He’s been getting a lot of those lately, hasn’t he?”

Grunge City, home to wannabe rock musicians all over Tokyo. Tony—The American born rocker who founded the place—gave the dingy bar the name because he fell in love with the orange and yellowed speckled walls, the grimy concrete floor, the bullet holes, and knife scrapped red wood and 70’s designed bar but in truth he was either too lazy or too broke to clean the joint up. Shouta wiped down the beat up bar and straightened the rusted and torn red cushioned stools. He rubbed his sore arm muscles before lifting the poop green sofa chair. “Ugh!” he turned his nose away from the scent of raw ass.

The pierced and dyed crew worked hard preparing to open for the late night drinkers and music enthusiasts. The tables and couches—located at the balcony were wiped down and day old peanuts tossed into the center ashtray which served as a holder. Dirty bubblegum, old pieces of fliers and tickets were so fused to the floor that sweeping would do no good. The first band to perform prepared their sound checks. Ein, the twenty-two year old self proclaimed rocker for life shook her wild and stringy blonde hair admiring the pink highlights and clamped on the last of her colorful assortment of bangles. She was a waitress and part time bartender and like most of the saps who ended up with these jobs she just wanted to drink, party all night, and have some fun into the wee hours of the night. The light of day never suited her and she hoped she never reached a point of losing her love affair with the night. She fancied herself a vampire in a past life which she told anyone who remarked about her late night job. She smeared on the black lipstick and slapped on the dark eye liner which contrasted her very pale skin. She bit and chewed on the crackling black nail polish lamenting the damage. She passed the bulletproof glass and when she spotted her favorite target dressed in his customary black Grunge City logo shirt, his blond hair cut short yet still wild.

“Why are you here so early?” she asked Shouta, her favorite target.

“Ya haven’t heard?” He replied. “I’m working double shift to buy a new bike. I crashed the last one.”

“Were you hurt?!”

“I’m still standin’.” he smiled assuring her everything was okay but that didn’t stop her from coming around to the back to wrap her skinny arms around him.

“Why don’t we just fuck and get it over with. I know you like to do girls. Or are you still going gay for the former lead singer of Parasitic Wasp?”

“I’m not gay I’m bi so I’m not goin’ gay for anyone and yeah Dai and I are still together.”

“Ooh! This sucks!” She pouted before giggling and heading to the back to change. “How the hell did you manage to crash your bike anyway?” She yelled from the back. Shouta stood by the changing room door respectfully not entering the co-ed room.

“Some asshole didn’t use a turn signal and ran into me. They clipped the back of my bike and before I knew it I was rolling into the bushes,”

“Wow.” She came out dressed in the bar’s logo T-shirt.

“Anyway, I have some good news today.”

“We’re gonna have sex tonight?” She smiled heading to the bar and pouring herself a drink.

“Ha ha.” Shouta replied. “It’s bigger than that. I’m startin’ my own bar.”

She quickly downed her Zombie Gut Punch and turned giving him a bear hug. “Oh my God! That is so great!”

“Yeah. I’ve been looking up properties online and there’s one I like in Koenji. Come with me to take a look.”

“Of course!” She tossed more ice into the bucket, followed by Vodka, triple sec, bitters, blood orange juice and black cherry soda for good measure not paying attention to measurements. She grabbed a spoon stirring the concoction before pouring the liquid into the glasses, this time, a drink for two. “How would Tony take it?”

“Like I give a shit.” The charismatic pierced and spiky headed boss appeared. “Fix me a drink too. I’m happy you’re thinking about your future, kid.”

“Thanks.” Shouta smiled glad to have his understanding and support. “I want you to know that I appreciate everything you’ve done for me. Giving me this job and a place to sleep when things got rough with my dad.”

“No problem.” The older man lifted the red drink allowing the other two to toast.

“I gotta take this.” Shouta broke up the small celebration once his phone vibrated.

“I hate this job.” Kei groaned on the other end.

“Nice to talk to you too.” Shouta said sarcastically.

“Sorry, it’s just that I can’t help it. These old people are driving me crazy, always trying to talk to me!”

“Why don’t you just let me put in a good word with Tony. If he needs another bouncer I can recommend ya.”

“Thanks but I’m stuck here. My dad recommended me and I don’t want to make him look bad.”


“More like fuck me.” Kei said sighing. “I should’ve gone into the military.” he said more to himself than Shouta.

“Shit!” Shouta peeked at his watch. “I gotta meet Dai at school.”

Kei grew silent for a moment before speaking. “I still can’t believe it, I mean…with Aya and everything. Then from her to that Maria chick to that Akio guy…” His voice reflected the ‘downward spiral.’

“I’m still me. Nothin’s change.” Shouta stressed.

“I know, it’s just not easy, that’s all.”

“I get it. Besides I don’t know what I had with Akio. Maybe I was just experimenting, but with Dai its different. I guess I can say that with Akio I learned I was bi and that’s okay.” Shouta seemed hesitant to go on. “Sometimes I do think about him, Akio, I mean. I…miss him. Maybe things could had been different if Dai didn’t interfere–”

“Why are you even with Dai if you think he interfered and fucked up your relationship?”

“It ain’t really like that…I love—“

“Alright, no more talk about this!” Kei cut him off not ready to listen to his best friend declare his love for a guy—even if it is Dai.

“I gotta head out anyway.” Shouta hung up and placed his phone in his pocket, Kei could never reach a point of accepting him but he didn’t care. They were friends since elementary school and still friends now and that mattered to him more than his opinion. “Tony, I’m takin’ a break before my second shift.”

“Give your precious Dai a kiss for me.” Ein smooched the air causing Shouta to laugh with delight.

“The kisses will always be from me.”

Aya and Dai passed the rush of the late afternoon crowd. Businessmen piled into the lit bars to unwind, the overcooked girls slopped on their sassy eyesore pink lip stick and raised their pleated skirts. One gushed about a back alley deal scoring the has-been drug CHi for almost nothing. The hooded street thug haggled the price of a pair of panties he sold to washed out sex depraved old men. The lights were dimming and the artificial blast of illumination began to take hold. The night was near.

A pair of hands encircled Dai’s waist squeezing him close to the hard body behind him. He laughed with pleasure; that scent of cigarettes, sweat, and booze which was once unpleasant grew to be a pleasant reminder of his lover’s presence nearby. He turned around and greeted him with a kiss; glances from pedestrians standing outside forced them to part.

“Sorry we gotta walk again today.”

Dai groaned. “When are you gonna get your bike fixed?”

“Tony refused to give me an advance paycheck and I just know that if I start spending the money you gave me it’s just gonna be one big domino effect. So I’m working a double shift to raise the money.”

Since Parasitic Wasp left town the two continued their relationship which bordered between friendship and coupling. Although their relationship was no secret they decided it was best to not flaunt it for various reasons: Aya was dealing with her own problems concerning her feelings for Tsume, and Kei simply didn’t want to hear it, and also Dai had enough of people spreading rumors about him and didn’t want to create anymore stirs. Eventually the time came to stop hiding, the love they felt for each other was plain to anyone witnessing their daily interactions and now they hid nothing from anyone. After walking Aya home the boys continued their trek toward Shouta’s apartment; the touch of each other’s skin, one smooth and the other rough, their individual scents one sweet and the other filled the nightlife; each passing graze only served to stoke the flames of their desire for one another.

“Let’s go out tonight.” Shouta suggested maintaining a cool head.


“Hm, there’s this new Mexican restaurant that opened up near my apartment, we can go there.”

“Won’t you be late for work?”

“Ah shit!”

“It’s okay. Why don’t we skip lunch and head back to your apartment before you go back to work.”

“I like the sound of that.” Shouta wrapped his arms around Dai and the two continued on toward the dirty mid-sized apartment buildings surrounding the city center. None of them were particularly grand, just apartments designed for college students or entry level salary men. One could look up from the rooftops and see the sky high apartments and penthouses lighting up the night like stars in the sky. Shouta was always so embarrassed whenever he brought Dai there but what could he do? It was the only home he had and he wasn’t going to spend the money Dai gave him buying a new apartment then go broke working some minimum wage job.

Once inside he tossed the various food containers and newspapers from the small dining table and placed the used boxes in the trash. The little studio apartment housed a small kitchen and the bathroom was the only other real separate space inside, the living area contained a full sized bed and a small dining area; a small table and two chairs leaving no room for privacy.

“As you can see I don’t have a maid.” He embarrassingly laughed.

Dai placed his arms around his lover’s neck. “Well, I didn’t get with you for your abilities to clean.” Dai sat on the bed seductively opening and closing his legs, waiting for Shouta’s response. When he approached Dai scooted back until he sat in the middle and Shouta positioned himself on his knees between his lover’s legs. He unbuckled Dai’s pants in a rush to get to what he wanted most. Shouta’s Grunge City T-shirt flew across the dirty apartment floor. Dai fixed his eyes on Shouta’s firm chest and strong arms before planting a kiss on his lips.

Their tongues tangled as their mutual erections pressed against each other, they both worked frantically to remove their clothes. Once they were naked Shouta lifted Dai’s legs to enter him quickly until Dai placed his hand on his chest, stopping him.

“You’re forgetting something.” Dai teased.

Shouta groaned in frustration and rolled off the bed backwards. His naked ass shifting with each movement toward the bathroom. He returned with just what he needed.

His weight pressed on the bed. He worked the condom onto his shaft, sliding the flimsy rubber up the length. His breath was hot and haggard on the nape of Dai’s neck as he teased the slow yielding entrance.
Shouta’s breath hitched. “Oh Dai!”

Dai lifted himself and moved into a doggy position. He barked and growled at Shouta, who gave him a hard look before crawling over to mount him. He entered Dai from behind, holding on to his hips as he used them to bury his cock as deep as he could. He kept up the same pace as before until he shuttered. He released him. Dai laid back with his member very much alive. Shouta quickly took him in his mouth…

Dai arrived at the shop enjoying the scent of the nearby falafel stand, his mouth watered for a taste of succulent lamb and roasted herbs–he searched his pockets for his money when he noticed the curtains bellowing from his Grandfather’s window. He entered from the back door forgoing the meal and headed to his grandfather’s room where he found elderly man laying in bed, the sheets stained with sweat. This was not the first time he had discovered him in this state it seemed that lately there was nothing that could soothe the slender man or help him conquer his ailments. Dai feared the worst but he pushed the morbid thoughts from his mind. “Grandpa! Are you okay?” He checked his temperature as Benjirou laid there moaning and shivering. “You’re running a terrible fever! I’ll go and call for help!”

“No! don’t!” the old man breathed deeply, a few wisps of grey hair clung to his face. “Just give me a cold wet towel.”

“Are you sure?”



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